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"We've lost ninety percent of our viewers in two months!" Spencer shouted, waving the laptop screen in Carly's face so violently that the hinges creaked. "NINETY! That's like... more than half!"
Carly sighed and pushed the laptop away. Their apartment seemed emptier somehow, the colorful chaos of Spencer's sculptures doing little to brighten the mood. The rent notice on the fridge, highlighted in alarming yellow, seemed to glow with radioactive urgency.
"It's fine, Spencer. Really." Carly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her voice calmer than she felt. "We're already a month behind on rent, and iCarly just isn't pulling in the sponsors like it used to."
Spencer's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Not pulling in—? Carls, that's exactly why we need to double down! Maybe we could get Gibby to—"
"Times change," Carly interrupted, settling onto the couch. "Fans get older. We need to evolve."
"Evolve?" Spencer's face scrunched up like he'd bitten into a lemon wrapped in sandpaper. "What does that even mean? Like, grow extra arms? Because I tried that once with a radioactive smoothie and—"
"No, Spencer." Carly took a deep breath. "I'm talking about OF."
Spencer's face went blank. "OF? Is that like... a new social media thing? Oh! Old Friends! You want to reconnect with elderly people! Smart move, they have disposable income and love to see young people dance!"
Carly rolled her eyes. "No, it's OnlyFans."
The silence that followed was so complete they could hear Lewbert screaming at someone seventeen floors below.
"NO WAY!" Spencer's voice cracked like he was thirteen again. "Absolutely not! Definitely not! That's for... you know... people who show their... you know..."
"And what’s wrong with that?" Carly said, leaning forward with unexpected enthusiasm. "I'm actually excited about this. I've been the same 'good girl' for years, Spencer. My fans have grown up—they want to see a different side of me." Her eyes lit up as she gestured animatedly. "I can connect with them as an adult now, not just as that kid with the webshow."
"But people will think—"
"Let them. I was getting bored with the webshow anyway," Carly shrugged, looking down at her hands. "Plus..." She bit her lip and looked up at him. "You know I can’t do it alone. I’d need someone to… help me… with some scenes. Who better than you?"
Spencer's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish having an existential crisis. For once in his life, he had absolutely nothing to say…
